too little, too late
by garyprestons
Summary: It's been 18 months since Miranda fled for Scotland after Gary and Mike both proposed. She's on her way home, but she's not coming back alone. This fic is in four parts. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

"I still don't understand why you'd want to have the party here," Gary said for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. And like she had every single time he'd said it, Stevie rolled her eyes, shook her head, and said nothing in response. The first few times, she'd responded with the same thing: there wasn't enough room in her flat, and Miranda and her new boyfriend were staying at a hotel nearby so it was a practical suggestion.

And every time Stevie reminded him that Miranda was coming back from Scotland with a boyfriend, Gary felt his heart sink a bit further down towards the floor. Yes, apparently there was some bloke named Ewan in the picture, who was apparently 'totally gorg', who Miranda had been seeing for almost a year now, who was 'absolutely perf for Queen Kong,' according to Tilly. Gary had pretended he was only mildly interested in Stevie's endless stream of goss, but really a part of him was morbidly curious to hear more.

But that night, with the sharp realisation that in a matter of minutes he'd actually have to see her for the first time in over a year, on the arm of someone else, he'd had enough. He put down the dishtowel he was using to wipe down the bar and leaned against the polished wood surface, glaring at Stevie until she quieted and shooed Tilly away.

Struggling to get up on the bar stool, Stevie propped her elbows up on the bar and glared right back at him.

"Nervous about seeing Miranda, are we?"

He sighed in defeat and resumed his tidying. He glanced up at her as he did.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You look like you're about ready to burst into tears. Can't say I blame you; things are a bit of a mess between you two still, huh?"

"If by mess you mean she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months, then yeah, Stevie, they're pretty rubbish," he snapped at her, and she held up her hands in defense.

"Sorry. Sore spot. But how many times have we gone over this? You're not exactly blameless in this situation."

The door opened and another small group of party guests entered, the volume in the room increasing as Penny announced their arrival.

"Look, can we not talk about this right now?" he asked, but Stevie didn't budge from her spot, nor did she stop talking.

"No, we can't. In a few minutes she's going to be here and you're going to have to deal with this. You can't just hide back there and pretend you're not there. Who knows, Gary, maybe she'll actually want to see you?"

"I highly doubt that," he muttered. She hadn't returned his calls; she'd changed her email address to one that Stevie wouldn't give him, and the radio silence had slowly driven him to become embittered. He knew that Stevie was right; she'd been on his case since the day Miranda had upped her sticks and left to Scotland without so much as saying goodbye to him. Whenever he found himself entrenched in another bout of self-pity, she was there to shake some sense into him and remind him that all he had to do was go after her. And he wanted to. He'd even gotten so far as to buy a train ticket once, but hadn't been able to find the courage to go. Her blatant refusal to speak with him made it clear: she didn't want him to follow her. She didn't want to have anything to do with him. And even though Stevie wouldn't actually confirm it, he knew that Miranda had said as much to her.

"Stevie, I don't know if I can do this," he admitted quietly, running his hand nervously through his hair, and she tutted sympathetically at him.

"Do you love her, then?"

The question caught him off-guard. Was she seriously asking? Wasn't it ridiculously obvious?

"I always have. You know that."

Stevie reached across the bar for the dishcloth, taking it from him so he'd actually have to look up and meet her eyes.

"Then why the hell did you let her leave?"

_Because I'm a fool. Because I'm terrified of letting her down or disappointing her. Because I've never been in a relationship with anyone for longer than a few weeks, and because she's my best friend and I couldn't bear to lose that closeness if something went wrong._

Only it already had gone wrong, and he wasn't sure she would even consider him a friend anymore. With a sudden twinge of anger, he wasn't sure he could would even consider_her_ a friend anymore. Not after she'd gone away without an explanation.

"I didn't let her leave. I didn't even know she'd left until you let it slip!" he said defensively, and he saw her draw to her full height. Since she was perched precariously on a bar stool, it came off far more impressive than if she'd been standing.

"Oh, don't you try and blame this on me! It's your fault for letting it get to that point! All you had to do was just tell her. 'Miranda, I love you. Sorry I've been such a horrible flaky prat about it for so long.'"

Gary was about to reply when he heard a commotion at the entrance and he looked up to see another group of guests arriving, and amongst them was Miranda, holding hands with someone who had to be Ewan. He didn't care who it was; he only had eyes for her as he saw her for the first time in what felt like forever.

Her hair was a bit shorter, her skin with more colour like she'd seen some sun recently. She looked a bit tired, probably from the long train ride. But the smile on her face was positively radiant, and he heard her unmistakable giggle as she pulled her boyfriend closer to her side for introductions.

He supposed he could understand why Tilly and Stevie had been swooning over the photos of him; he too looked as though he'd been somewhere warmer than Scotland, with dark hair and dark eyes. And he was as tall as Miranda was, which Gary knew was one of her prerequisites for courting – in fact he had at least a couple inches over her. He reluctantly could see why Miranda would be interested in someone like him.

"Soz, time to play catch-up!" Stevie said suddenly, interrupting Gary's thoughts before she hopped off the bar stool and ran over to greet her best friend. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Stevie throw her arms around Miranda, who leaned down to hug Stevie tightly, staggering slightly at how ferocious the tiny blonde's grip was.

"Stevie, Stevie, stop, I'm about to tip over!" Miranda shrieked, laughing, and he saw her about to stumble before Ewan caught her elbow and steadied her, joining in the laughter before extending a hand to introduce himself to Stevie.

Gary watched as Tilly grabbed Miranda's arm. "You're so tan, Queen Kong! I didn't know the weather was so nice in Scotland! Clearly the beau and I need to head up to visit you."

Miranda laughed and hugged Tilly. "Oh, don't expect anything other than wind and rain! No, we were just in Morocco for a few weeks. We needed to get away for a bit and were able to get some time off work. It was marvellous!"

"You actually made it to Morocco? You got on a plane and everything?" Stevie asked, amazed.

"It took a bit of convincing…" Ewan interjected, and Miranda blushed and hit him on the arm.

"Oi, enough! But yes, we got lost and we got sunburned, not necessarily in that order. It was quite an adventure! Well, a bit of an adventure. We're slowly working our way to a bigger one. Baby steps. We're thinking of going to Paris in the summer!" Her eyes were shining with excitement, and Gary could only watch out of the corner of his eye, envious. He'd always wanted to take her to Paris; even when they were in university together they'd made plans to take a trip with their friends for a weekend but they'd never come to fruition. He knew it had been on her bucket list ever since.

He was lost in his own thoughts when he sensed someone sitting down at the bar; assuming it was Stevie he started mixing up her favourite cocktail as an apology for snapping at her earlier.

When he looked up, Miranda was sitting there, finally having escaped the crowd. Startled, he set the drink down a bit too hard on the bar, and he winced at the loud slam it made.

"Ah, raspberry mojito for my little elf friend? It's her favourite," she said, and turned to wave Stevie over. Like a little blonde tornado, Stevie scurried over, grabbed the drink, and was gone just as quickly, leaving the pair of them more or less alone at the bar.

"And yours is still ice water with lemon," Gary replied, his heart hammering in his chest. He remembered that about her.

"I came for the biscuits" she said, taking one from the laden plate on the corner of the bar and biting into it, her eyes lighting up happily. "Can't get these in Scotland, that's for sure."

"You've missed my baking then?" he asked, not daring to get his hopes up. Miranda smiled easily at him and reached for another biscuit. She looked so calm, so relaxed, so happy and elated to be around everyone, and yet he could barely string a sentence together. It was so far from how it used to be, where she couldn't keep her composure around him. Had she really changed that much in a year?

"There's this little bakery next door to the bookshop I work at," she explained around a mouthful of biscuit, and he smiled slightly because at least that much hadn't changed. "My first day working, it was raining and I wanted nothing more than to go get some biscuits and have a cup of tea on my break, but they were awful. And I remembered how you'd always come around with something new to try when the weather was bad. Honestly, it made me a bit homesick at first." She reached for her glass of water.

"The truth is, being back here… I feel a little homesick again."

It was like she'd thrown the glass of water in his face; icy cold crept up along his spine because she didn't consider it her home anymore. He nodded at her with a tight-lipped smile.

"Be right back, need to get something from the kitchen."

"Hoping it's more biscuits!" she called after him as he hurried through the doors to the kitchen and leaned against one of the counters, his mind racing.

He had always known it would be difficult to see her again after so long. What he never counted on, what he'd never considered, was that it wouldn't be difficult for her at all. Away from Surrey, she had thrived. She'd found a job, a boyfriend, the things she'd left behind had been replaced. _He_ had been replaced.

It's like… she didn't miss him at all. She didn't miss anything, and she was dying to go back to Scotland and away from him. He briefly considered climbing out the window and leaving, but like it or not, he has a party to manage.

The door to the kitchen slowly opened, and he looked over to see Stevie peeking in.

"Miranda's looking for you. She said you were bringing more biscuits."

He wanted to rap his head against the wall until he lost consciousness instead of going back out there, but Stevie walked over to him and took his arm.

"Come on, out you go. Maybe this'll give you two a chance to have a bit of a talk and straighten things out. She missed you, I know she did. She'd never admit it, but I know her." Stevie pushed open the door and steered him through them before he could protest. "Look, I'll find an excuse to get her away from Ewan for a bit so you can talk to her alone and apologise."

Apologise. Right. He was about to ask her what he was supposed to be apologising for when Stevie's grip on his arm tightened and she started turning him in the opposite direction.

"Actually, might be a bit too late for that," he heard her mutter under her breath, and he looked behind them just in time to see Miranda and Ewan alone by the sofa, and Miranda's boyfriend was on bended knee.

One of his worst memories suddenly came flooding back to him – Mike down on one knee with a ring in hand proposing to Miranda, Miranda's panicked expression, which only darkened when Gary did the same thing. Her quiet _no_ to both of them before she ran out of the restaurant, and that was the last time he'd seen her until ten minutes ago.

Only now there was no hesitation in her voice, no panic in her eyes as she covered her mouth with one hand and nodded at Ewan. Gary could only watch in quiet despair, Stevie's fingers digging into his arm almost as though she was trying to restrain him from doing something stupid like he'd done last time.

He was honestly in too much shock to even consider doing anything like that; as the seconds ticked away both he and Stevie watched as Miranda flung her arms around Ewan's neck and kissed him before he slid the ring onto her finger. Stevie's grip on his arm eased but she didn't let go, and after a long moment he realised it was her small attempt at some sort of comfort. It wasn't much, but he was appreciative.

The private moment suddenly shattered as Miranda pulled away from Ewan and grabbed his hand, the pair of them hurrying over to join the rest of the party.

"Everyone, you'll find this of particular interest: I just got engaged!" she announced, holding up her hand with the sparkling ring on it, and the room erupted into applause and cries of excitement and in Tilly's case, disbelief. He saw Penny grab Ewan and hug him, saw Tilly scrutinising the ring with a keen eye, and a second later Stevie had slipped away from his side and was joining in the fray, bouncing up and down in excitement next to Miranda.

There was an unpleasant burning sensation behind his eyes, and Gary lowered his gaze and let out the breath he'd been holding in since he first saw her. Reaching for a bottle of champagne, he caught Stevie's eye across the room and she gave him a pointed look as if to say, _you waited too long, and this is what happens._

He'd waited too long. He'd just always thought Miranda would be waiting, too.


	2. Chapter 2

Miranda was relieved to see that the shop was still running smoothly with Stevie solo at the helm. It was before opening when she and Ewan stopped by the morning after her return to Surrey, and she rapped on the window until Stevie came scurrying over to let them in.

"Morning!" she greeted them, mug of tea in hand and an inventory list in the other. "Sorry, I didn't have time to put away the new stock yesterday before dashing off to your party, so I'm trying to get it done before I have to open." She held the door open for them, and Miranda ducked inside, pulling Ewan along behind her by the hand.

"So this is your legacy, eh?" he asked her, taking it all in. "It's brilliant. I'd love something like this back home, wouldn't you?"

It was the way he referred to Wick as home that made her feel a warm feeling all the way from the tip of her toes up to the crown of her head. She'd felt as though Scotland was home ever since they'd started seriously dating and had eventually moved in together. She squeezed his hand gently in response.

"Not sure how much of a market there is for a joke slash gift shop all the way in Wick, but it's something to consider, should the entrepreneur bug hit me again," she said, and Ewan smiled at her, grinning so happily his dimples appeared. She felt the same sense of giddiness still; ever since he'd proposed she'd been on cloud nine. After the party they'd done back to their hotel for some more celebrating of their own, more champagne, and she'd fallen asleep in his arms unable to take her eyes off of the ring on her finger.

She'd finally found someone who she loved as much as they loved her; it had taken her a few months to let her walls down and admit to herself that she did actually love him. Ever since things with Gary had ended so badly, she'd kept her heart firmly in her chest and no longer wore it on her sleeve, even though she was absolutely smitten with Ewan and he so clearly fancied her. When she'd finally agreed to go out with him for dinner, his reaction had been proof enough that yes, someone else out there found her attractive and funny and enjoyable to spend time with.

"So, Ewan, has Miranda shown you all of the hot spots Surrey has to offer?" Stevie asked teasingly, draining her mug of tea before setting it down on the counter and picking up her sparkly pink pen to start going through her inventory.

"Er, no, we had a bit of a lie in this morning…" Ewan began, and Stevie's eyes lit up.

"Perfect. Because Miranda wouldn't even know where to start, which is why I'm taking you out myself while she waxes nostalgic about how she used to work here and does the inventory for me."

Miranda's jaw dropped as Stevie grabbed her fiance's arm and started to lead him back towards the front door.

"Stevie, what-"

"Don't lie, I know you miss it!" Stevie sang, and Ewan looked helplessly at Miranda with wide, panicked eyes.

"Stevie-" The door slammed closed, and Miranda looked down at the list of chores Stevie had left for her. _Just like old times_, she thought with a bit of a wistful smile, and flipped to the first page of inventory.

After about an hour, two cups of tea, and a sad but strangely pleasant bout of reminiscing about the hours she and Stevie spent in the shop together, she heard someone at the front door and realised she'd forgotten to open the shop. She tossed the inventory sheets aside and nearly tripped over a half empty box of plush toys in her haste to make it across the shop, but the door was already open – Stevie had left it unlocked on her way out with Ewan.

Gary stood in the doorframe, a basket laden with muffins in his free hand.

"Uh, hi. I brought these over for Stevie. She around?" he asked, and Miranda shook her head.

"She kidnapped Ewan and took him out for a tour. What kind of muffins?" she couldn't resist asking, although she could already smell them. Blueberry. Stevie's favourite, not hers, though she knew they'd still be delicious.

"Blueberry. Um, I'll just leave them here for when she gets back, then." He walked over to the counter and set the basket down. Miranda immediately plucked a muffin out of the pile for herself and took a bite. The still-warm sugary taste, the burst of fresh blueberries, and the strangely overwhelming burst of emotion she'd never experienced from a muffin before.

"_Hello," she said, wrapping her arms around him from behind and smiling as he turned to face her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her proper, and he smelled like blueberries and freshly baked bread._

She froze mid-bite, the memory assaulting each of her senses. The last time she'd seen him, kissed him, held him, she remembered what he'd smelled like. Her appetite gone, she set the half-eaten muffin down on the counter and went back to the list of stock she was supposed to be checking.

She'd arrived in Surrey with a specific goal in mind: introduce Ewan to her parents, catch up with Stevie, and then get out as quickly as she possibly could. The whole plan was devised with the sole purpose of avoiding Gary, but then Stevie had told her the party was at the restaurant, and Miranda had endured a silent panic attack for half an hour afterwards.

She hadn't seen him in one year, five months, and eleven days. The last thing she'd said to him was "No," in response to his proposal, and then had fled the restaurant fighting back tears. Because she'd always hoped that one day he'd ask her to marry him. One of her most vivid daydreams was the one where he'd said those three little words and then dropped down onto one knee to propose. It had been spontaneous, sweet, and perfect in her head. What she'd actually gotten had been anything but.

The truth was, she still hadn't forgiven him for testing her patience for so long and through so much drama. She also hadn't forgiven herself for letting him, all because she was too stubborn to let go of the desperate hope that maybe someday he'd make his feelings for her clear. That he'd someday say "I love you" and mean it.

He was still standing there at the counter, and after a moment she couldn't bear it any longer and looked up at him, curious.

"I, uh… Congratulations on the engagement. That's fantastic news." His smile was strained, and she fidgeted with the cloth napkin that covered the basket of muffins.

"Thank you," she replied quietly, her smile equally strained even as she thought of lovely Ewan, her fiance, and how lucky she was.

The silence returned.

"I'm sorry I never called," she blurted out in a rush, feeling her cheeks warm the instant the words left her. "I did mean to get in touch with you, I-"

He cut her off mid-sentence.

"It's okay, it sounds like you've been busy. Besides, Stevie kept me updated on the interesting bits in your life, since you weren't busy enough to get in touch with her."

She recoiled slightly, narrowing her eyes slightly in defense.

"I'm sorry? Did you actually just have a go at me for not wanting to talk to you after you falsely proposed to me?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Sorry. It's just confusing being around you right now. I should get back to work." He started to walk back toward the door, but paused before he reached it and turned back to her.

"I'm not angry that you ran off that day. I get that, I get why you would. What I don't get is why I didn't hear even a word from you for a year and a half after that. We're best friends, Miranda! Or rather, we were. I don't know what we are anymore, but we're obviously not friends because you don't do that to a friend."

"Oh, so we're back to just friends, then?" she asked before she could stop herself, her temper flaring. Why was he so good at pushing her buttons like that?

"See, this is exactly why I was so reluctant to make it anything more!" he exploded, throwing his hands up in frustration. "I was so scared that if we broke up, I'd lose you as a friend. And that's exactly what's happened, don't you see? It's not just a case of flipping some switch to go from being friends to being a couple or lovers or… or whatever you want to call it. And there's no switch to go back to being friends if we bugger it up somehow – which we did."

"You didn't know that was going to happen, Gary! It's called taking a risk. Are you honestly saying that you regret even trying? Are you actually going to stand there and tell me you regret kissing me that day?" Her voice shook with anger and fear that he'd say yes.

"Of course not." His voice had lost some of its volume. "But can you honestly tell me that it was worth potentially ruining our friendship over? Because you can barely even look me in the eye right now, and I can't stop thinking about you even though I know you're engaged. Why are we even talking about this? We can't go back to how it used to be. That's the risk we took when we kissed."

She felt as though she'd had the wind knocked out of her. He still had feelings for her. This wasn't part of her plan.

"You know what, this is pointless. It doesn't matter whether it was worth it or not, because I'm not in love with you anymore! "

"Good, because I'm not in love with you anymore, either!"

"Saying that implies that you actually were at some point!"

"I was! I've just spent an entire year trying to find the courage to actually tell you, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it?"

She was so angry that hearing him _finally_ admit he was in love with her only made her angrier.

"Don't you dare do this again. You do _not_ get to blame me for someone else saying it to me first. It shouldn't be a race, Gary! God, it's just the same story every time with us, isn't it? And I'm sick of repeating it. That's why I left. And yes, fine, I admit it – I left because of you. I left because I waited fifteen years for you and you still couldn't just say it. But you're right – why are we even talking about this? It doesn't matter. You're over me, I'm over you, I'm engaged, there's no more to our story. It ends here."

"So that's it? Fifteen years of history between us, and you'll be happy never knowing how it could have been? You risked everything, our friendship, for what exactly?"

"Oh, I'm very happy right now," she snapped. "For many reasons that have nothing to do with you. I'm engaged, in case you missed the memo. Did I ever wonder how things could have gone with us if we'd given it a proper go? Only every day since I left. But I met someone and I stopped, because obsessing over a relationship that never actually happened when there's something with actual potential ready to drop into your lap is not healthy, I've learned."

She let the words hang in the air between them, properly exhausted from fighting with him. It was probably the worst fight they'd had, and to make it even worse, she didn't feel like any of the weight on her chest had vanished. If anything, her heart felt even heavier than it had been at the start.

Gary looked stunned, and she pushed past him while he was recovering, hoping he didn't notice the tears starting to fall down her cheeks as she did.


	3. Chapter 3

Gary was up early the next day; he'd given up on sleep at three in the morning after tossing and turning for two hours. Instead he'd stayed up replaying his fight with Miranda over and over in his head, trying to figure out how everything had gone wrong so badly.

He knew the answer, of course. He never should have proposed to her in a moment of panic and fear. But really, was that where it had all started? He thought further back, to the mess with Tamara that had created a rift in their friendship for a few weeks. She said she'd forgiven him, but had they really repaired the broken trust between them? He'd always felt as though he'd gotten off a bit easily for lying, but Miranda was in general a forgiving person. Maybe he'd been taking that for granted.

Going back even further – when he'd left for Hong Kong. He'd wanted to tell her he had feelings for her and that he didn't want to leave without exploring them, but she hadn't given him a chance.

There he went again, trying to blame her for his own lack of courage. He groaned and rolled over, burying his head into his pillow in frustration. Why had things between them always been so complicated and convoluted? Wasn't it supposed to be easy, effortless, exciting, to be in love?

_Really,_ he thought, _it's been like this since uni._ It had always been Miranda who captivated him, who intrigued him, who made him laugh harder than he had with anyone before. She'd been a lifeline cast out to him while he was alone and lost amongst people who knew what they wanted to do with their lives after graduation. She'd told him that he'd been the same to her. Two people, alone, finding one another and suddenly they weren't alone anymore.

It was a simple equation. Take two people who are crazy about one another and put them together, problem solved. Instead all they seemed to find were more problems.

Before he knew it, his alarm was going off and it was six. He wasn't sure if he'd fallen asleep or if his thoughts had kept him distracted from the ticking time, but he couldn't stay in bed wallowing all day.

He was distracted during prep at work; Brian called him on it more than once. Eventually Gary shooed him away and was busy slicing veg when the doors opened and the first customers came in.

He shouldn't have been surprised to see her, but he still was. Especially since she'd looked at him with such sadness and hurt in her expression the night before. She still looked quite sad, though she smiled at Brian before leaning against the bar to watch him work.

Worried he'd inadvertently slice off a finger with her so close to him, Gary pushed his work aside and looked up at her.

"Hi."

"Morning." She fidgeted a bit for a moment before clearing her throat slightly. "Um, I know you're busy, but I just… I wanted to say goodbye before I left."

His heart sank, though he wasn't sure why. He knew she was leaving and going back to Scotland. This was no longer her home; she'd made that very clear. He just didn't expect her to leave so soon.

"And I wanted to apologise for how I did it last time. Well, I wanted to apologise for not doing it at all last time." Her hands were shaking slightly; she was actually nervous. Gary glanced toward the kitchen to make sure Brian was fine on his own before he stepped out from behind the bar and took her arm, walking with her over to the sofa away from everyone. They sat, keeping a safe distance between them.

"Miranda, I'm so-"

"Don't. Don't apologise for last night, because you don't have to. I know you meant every word, and the truth is, I did too. I can't say I'm sorry for telling you how it felt. I can't apologise for feeling the way I do."

He lowered his head, staring down at his hands in his lap. "So, where does that leave us? Are we still… friends?"

He heard her voice catch slightly when she answered. "Do you honestly think we still can be? I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm just trying to be realistic. You made me wait fifteen years for you to be ready to give us a go, and you still couldn't commit. And I know, Gary. I understand why. But I couldn't wait any longer. I couldn't do that to myself. And… could you really see me as a friend after I left you here for eighteen months and pretended you didn't exist?"

"Can't we at least try?" He knew the answer even as he asked the question.

"We tried being a couple and you saw how that turned out. You said yourself, it was a risk. I don't regret taking it, but I don't think we can go back to how we were."

She was on the brink of tears, and he realised that he was in the same state. Because the idea of Miranda not being around, not being his friend, was a pain so acute that he felt his chest tighten.

"I lied before, when I said I'm not in love with you anymore." It was the truth, however desperate it sounded.

She brushed the tears away from her cheeks.

"I did, too. I think a small part of me always will love you. And that's why it's better if I leave again. I love Ewan, and I think I deserve him."

"You deserve everything."

She swiped at her cheeks again, and looked like she was about to say something when Stevie walked into the restaurant, Ewan behind her with their bags.

Miranda closed her mouth quickly and instead leaned over and hugged him. It was the most painful embrace he'd ever endured. Part of him felt like they were magnets repelling one another, pushing apart even though her arms were tightly wrapped around him, and another part of him felt like he'd never be able to let go of her.

"Goodbye, Gary."

He buried his face into her shoulder, breathing in the scent of her perfume, her shampoo, the fabric softener she always used on her clothes. His thumb rubbed against her shoulder, and he heard her shaky exhale as she started to pull away. Her eyes were bright but damp with fresh tears, and she gave him a brave smile.

"Right, long train ride ahead. Best be going. Stevie's giving us a lift," she explained. Her hand lingered on his shoulder as she rose to her feet and then walked over to greet them.

As he watched Ewan wrap his arm around her waist and kiss her on the forehead, Gary saw her glance back at him with a look in her eyes that he couldn't decipher.

And then, once more, he watched her walk away and out of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

Miranda checked her watch for the fifth time in two minutes. The restaurant would be closing any moment; sure enough, the door suddenly opened and the last diners left, nearly tripping over top of her.

"Right, sorry, let me get this for you…" she said, holding the door open for them. "Just minding the door, that's the kind of classy establishment this is…" They simply looked strangely at her before hurrying away. When they were out of sight, she slipped through and into the restaurant.

She walked right into the coatstand, as she always did; quickly righting it before it could crash to the ground, she rounded the corner and rather nervously approached the bar. Gary's back was to her, and he was cleaning a wine glass when heard her approach.

"Sorry, just closing down for the n-"

The glass slipped from his hand and onto the ground, shattering into a thousand tiny pieces. Startled, he jumped back from the mess, still staring at her in surprise.

"What are you doing here? You should be halfway to Wick by now," he asked. Miranda could only manage a nervous smile in reply.

"I forgot to ask you something before I left." Never mind that she was supposed to leave six hours ago.

Gary stilled, and she walked around toward him. "Yeah? Well, what is it?"

She took a deep breath, and nervously tightened her hands into fists in the pockets of her coat, steeling herself.

"If you had a chance to do it all over again, despite the risk, a chance to give it a proper go – without the drama, would you do it?" The words left her in a rush; she stumbled over them and hoped he understood the question. She wasn't sure she could hold it together long enough to repeat it if he asked.

She didn't have to. His answer was instant and without hesitation: "Absolutely."

It took her three steps and one and a half seconds to cross the distance between them and kiss him, her arms winding around his neck and his hands finding her waist after a second of confusion. She kissed him like she'd never kissed someone before, not even him. It was a kiss from the climax of a film, important and meaningful and purposeful. It was a kiss that left her breathless and him speechless when she finally pulled her face away from his just enough to meet his gaze.

"So would I."

He visibly swallowed before speaking. "You're engaged. You're supposed to be in Scotland right now."

She loosened her hands from his hair and showed him her left, ring finger once again bare.

"Not engaged. Not going to Scotland," she corrected him with a sad smile. "I broke off the engagement. Don't worry, I sat him down before we left and actually explained everything this time. He's devastated, but… well, he knew some of our history and I think he wasn't entirely surprised. You and I… we're linked somehow. No matter how far away I've tried to run… I always find myself coming back to you. Weird, isn't it?"

She wished she could read his mind; she had absolutely no idea what was going on in his head and every small pause felt like an eternity.

"You're a bit mad, has anyone ever told you that?" he finally broke the silence, his hands still lightly clasping her waist. "I get what you're saying, I do. I meant what I said before you left – it's always been you. I've never felt that way about anyone else, and honestly, it's a bit terrifying."

"So are horror movies, but they're never as scary when we're together. I'm hoping this is sort of the same thing," she replied. "I'm scared too, I'd have to be insane not to be. I've broken off two – well, three – engagements in the last year and a half because of you. I wound up in Wick of all places just to get away from you. But… the thing is, nobody can ever replace you. Nobody can ever compare to you. I thought maybe if I let myself fall completely for someone, I'd forget about you. And it worked, for a little while. But the moment I saw your face I remembered everything. Why you're my best friend. Why I love you so much. And… it's always going to be you. So yeah, I'm scared. But if you meant what you said, that you'd try it again, then we'll be scared together. I'll even hold your hand if you want me to," she teased him gently, reaching for his hand to punctuate her remark.

His fingers intertwined with hers and pulled her to him; his mouth slanted over hers as he kissed her and Miranda felt her legs turn to jelly.

"I love you." His voice cracked slightly and she slid her hand gently over his cheek, her thumb stroking his skin. She didn't need to say it in reply; he already knew how much she loved him and how thankful she was that they were going to find a way to make it work. So instead she kissed him once more, until she ran out of breath.

Her hands pressed gently against his chest for a moment before she realised something. "I have to go," she blurted out, then quickly clarified: "Stevie doesn't know I'm here, though I'm sure she's figured it out by now. I'm staying with her tonight, then catching the train back to Wick tomorrow morning."

"You're going back? But-"

"Just to get things sorted. Have to take care of everything before I come home."

The smile on his face made her feel warm everywhere, and she laughed a little at it. "What?"

"You're coming home."

She nodded, and as he drew her to his chest and hugged her close, she knew that truly, home was where your heart was. She'd left hers behind in Surrey, with him, and it had been waiting for her to return for it. The path she'd been on since the day they met hadn't been easy. There had been potholes and the bumps and bruises from falling in them over and over again. But he'd always been right there beside her most of the way. And true, they'd strayed off of it a few times during their fights, but what she'd said earlier to him about being linked, she knew it was the truth.

And this, being in his arms with newfound hope bubbling inside of her and a smile on her face.

This was home.


End file.
